Sleep?

I slept terrible last night. Again. I don't sleep much these days at all and each time I lay down there are just somethings that haunt me.
Someone at the funeral said
"Anyone who said things get easier is full of shit. You just get used to a new normal."
Makes sense to me. Makes more sense to me then the people who say it will get easier with time. There is no way this will get any easier.

My house is swallowing me whole. I have to clean it today but have a million other things to do first. First on the agenda is moving some of these damn plants around. Still looks and smells like a florist in here and I hate it. Walk by a plant and remember, smell the roses and remember... breathe.... and remember.

What a f'ing debbie downer I am!

Anyhow... getting together with friends for New Years... I need it and looking forward to it. Then the kids go back to school and I am thrown back into whatever normal will be.